Let’s get personal.
Just think about the last time you were upset with your spouse, partner or close friend. Think about how you acted prior to clearing the air or talking it out (even if in loud voices). We all do it. Your spouse ticks you off, and you pout, or later that evening you respond to his or her question with a snooty retort.
At this point, you are probably already admitting you’ve done this once or twice, but you are thinking you wouldn’t do that in the work place.
We all have, and if you listen carefully, you’ll hear and see it occurring in your office every day. I remember a time I experienced it myself. I was pissed off. I was being micromanaged and undermined. I knew this concept well, yet I attended a team meeting and was passive-aggressive.
After the meeting, I was ashamed of my behavior, but it was never clearer to me that this key phrase, if you don’t talk it out, you will act it out, holds true. I wasn’t talking it out, so I simply acted it out, and afterwards it felt really bad. This is just one of the many lessons I learned from Crucial Confrontations®. There are so many amazing lessons one can learn from Crucial Conversations® and Crucial Confrontations®. If you haven’t read the books, I highly recommend them.
Remember, we are all human. When we have strong feelings, they are going to emerge one way or another. So make sure they do in conversation, rather than in action.